Dear Chattery

In a world obsessed with the superficial, the TV show “Love Unseen” set out to strip away the layers, quite literally. Participants were confined to individual rooms, their voices synthesized through a system that rendered every utterance in a monotonous robot tone. The aim was to ensure that love blossomed solely from the seeds of conversation, untouched by physical appearances. And in the ultimate commitment to this ideal, couples who chose to marry were to do so only after agreeing to an unconventional wedding attire: shaved heads, sunglasses, and burlap sacks.

Among the participants was Austin, a man whose search for love had taken him from one failed dating app to another. On the other side of his microphone, an entity whose communications came through as nothing short of enigmatic. The voice, if one could call it that, was a series of peculiar sounds, often rhythmic and oddly comforting, yet entirely indecipherable. Austin, ever the optimist, interpreted these anomalies as a profound if somewhat abstract, expression of thoughts and feelings.

Their exchanges grew more intimate over time, with Austin sharing his dreams and fears, and his unseen partner responding in kind with a variety of sounds that Austin took as signs of agreement or contemplation. It was a relationship built on the most tenuous of connections, yet it felt real to Austin.

Decision day arrived, and Austin, with his heart on his sleeve, declared his intention to marry. The wedding was surreal. Austin stood at the altar, shaven and clothed in burlap, anxiously awaiting his first glimpse of his partner. As the figure approached, similarly shaven and bizarrely outfitted, the crowd held its breath.

The moment of reveal was one for the history books. There, beside Austin, stood not a woman, as many had assumed, but a cat. The cat, equally bewildered and sporting a miniature burlap sack, meowed—a sound now unmistakably clear to all but previously garbled by the show’s voice synthesizer.

The reality of Austin’s situation set in as they exchanged vows, a mix of humor and bewilderment in the air. The audience didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but one thing was undeniable: “Love Unseen” had delivered something unprecedented.

However, the union was not to last. The practicalities of a human-cat marriage soon became apparent. Austin’s home, devoid of kitty litter and unsuitable for his feline spouse, descended into chaos. Furniture was clawed to pieces, and every corner hid a surprise from the cat. Austin’s patience wore thin as his dream of finding love in the most unconventional of ways turned into a living nightmare.

In the end, they parted ways, the divorce citing “irreconcilable differences,” a euphemism if ever there was one. Austin looked back on his journey with a mix of emotions, wondering if somewhere between the meows and the robot-voiced declarations of love, there had been a moment where it all made sense. “Love Unseen” had promised to strip away the superficial layers of attraction, but perhaps some layers, Austin mused, were better left in place.